I am allowed to experience joy and my emotion in anywhere it comes and shouldn't feel judged by that or the facts. BY NO ONE. And that doesn't made me angrey, upset, or manic that fact I cn epxiernce joy or feelings in genral or through the mere fact of me explaining or talking about myself or who I am.

 I am me and that should not be argued or a questions. No doubt, no doubt about it, and no doubt about me! No doubt should be or evolve me. I'm allowed to grow, recognize my wants, and go for them. I'm applying to college, I don't necessary want to but who knows I guess about what they will me to me. I don't want it to be about other people and so want if it's about my art. It's just something I like to do not something I really want to go for. I don't know, I guess I'll just force it for whatever reason. I'm just doing it to go to school and get a degree to be honest there no value really if its not rewarding or no reward in the outcome. I don't want to hear the nancy out of the woodwork nagging at me about a certain thing but it's not about them of anyone. I can do want I want to do for myself and for myself only. So what if I do certain things, what there's that have to do with you or anyone else . It's no ones business and shouldn't be shared unless i don't know I want to. I will not hurt any longer about what people want for me. Anything comes for me and is about me! I feel silly sometimes for saying or talking about my emotions but it's mine, and this is for me, and for me to know and share. Weird but I still feel something in my soul that's like a no. It's hard to describe a physical feeling since there's no words but yeah. I tried.